An Open Letter 4

Dear Small Humans,

I write on behalf of your mother.

Let me start by reaffirming how much I love being your dog. I am very well looked after and can always find a companion to pet me or take me on a walk.

By now, it is painfully obvious that I am a dog of little brain.

Yes, just the other day, I managed to get caught up in an apron hanging from a chair, with no exit strategy in place. I rely on your goodwill to rescue me from these predicaments.

Amazingly, you have kept me despite my minimal contributions to the household. I would prefer some variety in my food allotment but that is a minor concern.

However, I do find the blanket wrapping a bit much.

I’m not a snitch but I trust in your deductive reasoning to ascertain which child is responsible for my temporary bondage. Truly, I adore Johnny. He is my most consistent source of food and treats.

Please don’t take the criticism too harshly. I am forever grateful that you badgered your mother into adopting me. Other rescue dogs aren’t as lucky. And I do hope to become a real dog someday.

By the way, I suggest washing the aforementioned blankets. The recommendation to apply flea and tick prevention on a monthly basis is not a suggestion.

Your forever loyal, somewhat dysfunctional dog,

Rudy

*Open Letter is a series about the anomalies and absurdities of family life. Read other posts in the series (Open Letter, Open Letter 2, Open Letter 3)

9 thoughts on “An Open Letter 4

  1. Bella took time out from her daily (usually about 23 hours per day) nap to read this with me. She was very interested in the fact that Johnny is such a good source of treats…..;)

    Like

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