Today’s post is brought to you by the letter “J”.

So you know it’s about Johnny.

Johnny has been in rare form this week. And struggling with some very real problems. Well, real as perceived to his 6 year old eyes.

Michael found him crying in bed last week. Apparently, Johnny was concerned that he doesn’t have a job and steady income stream. When I heard this, I tried to help him brainstorm some potential employment options. But a lemonade stand in December during a pandemic is a losing proposition.

A couple of days later, I found him crying in his bed again. He had heard the story of John the Baptist in school. A quick refresher. John the Baptist was Jesus’s cousin and a bit of a wild man. When he makes his entrance in the Gospel of Matthew, he is wearing camel’s hair clothing and eating locusts and wild honey. Sam and I were genius to name our son after this saint.

But Johnny was upset about these details.

Me: “What’s the matter Johnny?”

Johnny: “I don’t want to be named after a saint who eats bugs!”

Me: “But he was a great man. He told us about the coming of Jesus. And he was courageous to the point of death.”

Johnny: “How did he die?”

Me: “Well, Herod cut off his head and served it on a platter.”

Johnny: Little boy now writhing in pain, arching his back, and shouting, “Well then there’s that too!”

Obviously Johnny feels things deeply. He also thinks through things at random times. Like in the middle of the night. Or the wee hours of the morning, depending on your perspective.

I had just started Becky’s 3:00am feeding and was heading back to bed when I heard the door to our room creak open. There was Johnny. Rubbing his eyes and upset from a nightmare. He wouldn’t share the details but wanted to climb into bed with us. I was too weary to try to get him back to sleep in his own room.

He snuggled into me and quickly calmed down. But then he perked up.

Johnny: “Mom, let’s talk about the people in our family whose names begin with the letter J!”

Me: Quietly moans

Johnny: “My name begins with J.”

Me: “Yes, Johnny.”

Johnny: “Josephine’s name begins with J.”

Me: “Yes, Johnny.”

He then quieted down and I thought he had fallen asleep. But he turned his little head towards mine and said one last thing.

Johnny: “And Jesus begins with a J.”

Me: “Yes, Johnny.”

I felt a smile grow across my face while laying in the dark, Becky’s feeding pump whirling next to me as Johnny’s breathing slowed. And I thought, so does joy.