Apparently, Johnny has what it takes to be one of Santa’s elves.

He proudly showed me his application.

It’s a loose job description but he hits on the main points.

1. Relevant job experience – Marks “Yes” to previous engagement with products
2. Potential for positive contribution to team – Marks “Nice”
3. Capacity to perform product testing – “I can test oute toys”
4. Aptitude in the area of toy development – “I am vere smart”
5. Utmost discretion regarding trade secrets and intellectual property – “I am vere sneaky”
6. Willingness to assist employer – “I am a vere good helper” and “Wut frst Sata”
7. Personal confidence and enthusiasm – “I am a vere good toys maker”

He also called my attention to the face of his elf. He wanted to draw the teeth accurately, depicting the “train wreck” in his mouth. And that’s exactly how he phrased it.

Santa should hire him in a hot second.